Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Let's Get Physical!

In my quest to drop a few lbs and get healthier, I have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week and eating healthier. Apparently the experts are right and it actually works! I am usually on the treadmill, rocking out on my ipod which gives me time to observe the other people who come in there. It seems that it is pretty much the same group of people everyday who have their own quirks and strange habits. Witness...

The Comrades - There are three middle-aged Eastern Europeans who come in the evenings. You can tell them not by the fact that they don't speak any English but by their dress. The first is a grey-haired man who tucks his t-shirt into his sweat pants and accessorizes with a large gold medallion that I am pretty sure Captain Jack is looking for to return to the mystical Incan chest. The other man wears shorts that would not need to be removed for a proctology exam (when he is not is his Speedos strutting out to the pool). Then there is the woman who was on the treadmill last night in a long sleeved shirt, a sweater over her shoulders, long pants, and high heels. If I ever had doubts about the evil of communism before, they are put to rest now.

The "Best of Intentions" Gang - Every once in awhile a guy will come in -and I do mean guy - who is wearing a sleeveless shirt, has a couple of tats, and is wearing a hat on backwards. He will have a jug of water and sweatbands on his forearms and will check himself out in the mirror for a few minutes before selecting the first machine that will have the honor of toning his muscles. He sits down, tests the weight, and then does two reps. I don't mean two sets, I mean reps. Then he will stop and just stare at his feet for about ten minutes before getting up, going to another machine and starting the process over again. He will do this three times, take a big drink as if he has done something, and leave having never broken a sweat. Here's my thought, if you aren't going to exercise why pretend that you are? Don't tease your basketball shorts and cutoff t-shirt that you got from your fraternity pool party into thinking you will actually allow them to fulfill their destiny. That ain't cool.

Her - When I go to the gym in the morning there is this really nice girl who usually is there as well. She is cute and fit, she always says hello and complimented me on my hair when I got it cut. I hate her. Let me explain why. We are always on the treadmills next to each other. If you were to look at the two of us together you would see that there is a huge contrast. As I said, she is cute and fit whereas I look like a sweaty sun burnt puffer fish. In the midst of her running she has the AUDACITY to answer phone calls and hold ten minute long conversations without slowing her pace at all. This is where I generally envision the scene from "Independence Day" where the alien holds the guy from Star Trek up to the window and says "DIE!!!". I sincerely hope that envy has no caloric value.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

A lot has happened this week and I kept thinking that I should blog about it but I have been lazy. So, I will break it down to make this all the more palatable. Much of it involves TV. Shut up.

Last week - "The Office" returned and the world heaved a collective sigh of relief. We also had a great Ward party/bar-b-que where Nathan and I were in charge of three-legged races, gunny sack races, and making sure everyone had a good time. Nathan also made quite the showing at the egg toss where the inside of his hat ended up filled with slimy yolks that only came out after two times through the washer machine!

Monday - We had some friends over to watch "Hot Rod" and eat pazookis. Nathan and I have taken it upon ourselves to convert the world to one of the funniest, most ridiculous movies ever.

Tuesday - Who doesn't think that "The Biggest Loser" finale is one of the greatest achievements in the marvelous spectacle that is American media? I am going to miss the show for the reason that it is midway through it each week that I get that guilty feeling, change into my gym clothes, and get my rear in gear (it's a lower gear, but it definetly requires shifting!)

Wednesday - I babysat my neighbor's 14-month-old for three and a half hours so she and her husband could go to the temple. As I told Megan this morning, babysitting is a lot easier if it is Hank and I have a bag of M&Ms on hand! The little girl was great though and by the end of it she was playing with my hair and eating my chapstick. A good time was had by all.

Oh, and "Top Chef" was on. Food porn.

Thursday - There is another couple that lives in our apartment complex that we have befriended. They are very young and very newlywed, but cute as can be. They called last night to ask us if we wanted to play volleyball. I don't know if you all know how I feel about volleyball, but I LOVE it. I will pretty much play it anywhere with anyone. As it turns out, they had gotten enough friends to play on one side against a team of pilots who also live in the complex. So the game was touted as "The Mormons vs. The Pilots" and we kicked butt. Nathan came out of it with a big. bloody raspberry on his knee and I had my Lou Ferrigno moment.

What do you think? The similarities are astounding.

Everything was going really well until I went to lunge for a ball. I was wearing a brand new shirt that was made of a lighter material as I had not thought to change. In my very athletic prowess I dove for the ball and heard a pop that I couldn't really understand. It wasn't until I got home later and was changing into a t-shirt that I realized I had literrally ripped the shirt across my shoulders. I could not be contained! So now I, like David Banner, am doomed to wander the planet alone. It is the price I must pay for my overexposure to gamma radiation.

Also, I completed a job that was four years in the making.

That's right, Beagley women, I finally completed my memory board from Family Reunion 2004. It took me long enough, but I think it was worth it. It's hard to see here, but it is a green and brown striped material that matches my bedroom. I also used upholstery nails instead of buttons. I really like the way it turned out. It took me awhile, but I consider myself the Michaelangelo of memory boards, and no one complained that he worked slowly.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

A la Rick Astley...

Thanks Ryan!

Friday, April 11, 2008

It's a cruel (cruel) cruel summer.

Now I am depressed...

I saw that it will hit 90 degrees this week, and it made me do this...

Monday, April 7, 2008

There's a glitch in the Matrix.

That's right, it's deja vu all over again. Just like last year, I have made it all this way through my bracket leading for the most part. However, my win could be ripped from me in one fail swoop if Kansas wins tonight. I would then be forced to cede to a victorious Shane whose beloved Jayhawks would have been crowned the champions. I have to say, Shane, that if I have to lose there is no one I would rather lose to than you. You deserve it purely based on your loyalty to a team that has disappointed you time and time again. Therefore, good luck sir and may the best bracket win.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Wait until you see Nathan jump on Oprah's couch!

So I have been thinking of cutting my hair for awhile as it is warming up and doing your hair when it is 120 degrees is no picnic. The other morning Nathan was watching me run the clamp of fire (AKA my straightener) through my hair and said "You have got to cut your hair. It takes way too much time." It was all the validation I needed. So I headed to the bookstore to pick up some magazines and called my good friend, Jen. She was in the same mindset so we went to her stylist and handed over our inspiration pics with shaking hands. Mine was of Katie Holmes. Let's face it, the girl looks good and I think my outcome was great.

It seriously took me maybe five minutes to style and I think it is so cute! Jen left the salon looking like a serious little hot pregnant mama. What can I say? We're bringing sexy back.