They're available for weddings and Bar Mitvahs.

Nathan and John McLay performing their song "Twilight" at EFY. I think they should take it on the road.

TWILIGHT

by John McLay and Nathan Jones

[Sung to Starlight© by Muse and based loosely on Twilight© by Stephenie Meyer]

Far away

Her mind is clearly, far away

Far away from the date...

The date that you have taken her on

Twilight

Shes probably been reading Twilight

She expects you to sparkle in Light

And your skin, frankly, just aint that white

Hold her on your back

and run really fast

Hold her on your back.

Vampires

How can you compete with Vampires?

They're immortal and in movies

Besides the sight of blood makes you feel faint

You're pretty sure she pushed you in front of

That of that car to see it stop, but it didnt stop

Her hopes and expectations

Create significant complications

And by your best computations

It may not be worth the frustrations

Hold on lets get real...watching people sleep is weird!

Edward

There'll always be another Edward

Some tall guy with an accent

And a team of professional stylists

Unless your name is Wolverine you dont stand a Chance,

but thats not your name

And your bones are kind of brittle

Your hopes and expectations

Cant be tied to Hollywood creations

Forget Sister Meyers machinations

And find your own true imprintations

Hold on, you just wanted...You just wanted to Date.

I got all my sistah's with me

My head is achy, my vision is blurred, and I have diabetic shock. I must have just gotten home from Girls Reunion! For those of you who don't have families as awesome as mine, we have a family reunion on all of the even numbered years and a girls-only reunion on the odd numbered years. It is a blast! We get together and discuss the deep issues of life (translation: we dissect trashy celeb mags), we eat dainty dishes (translation: we try to keep it to one fistful of M&Ms in our mouth at a time), and we create domestic works of art (translation: we curse under our breath as we try to complete the craft that seemed so cute and easy the day before). We stay up way too late, laugh way too loud, and enjoy each other way too much. I love my girls and I am so glad we make the time to do this. I don't think it is any exaggeration to say it is literally the greatest spectacle the world has ever seen. The other greatest spectacle this weekend?

Aw Hank, you give the best cuddles in the world. Literally.

Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

Well folks, it was about time. We have lived in one place for one whole year now and Nathan thinks this behavior must be curbed. That is why he just got a promotion and is moving us to Las Vegas! Hey, five moves in two years - bring it on. This one, though, promises to be a more permanent situation and we are thrilled. He will be working as the Director of Enrolment and is so excited he can hardly see straight. I am looking forward to it even though I will miss Colorado Springs and the friends we have made here. So feel free to stop by if you are ever in Sin City, we'll keep the light on!

I NEED your help!

Some of you will have gotten an email from me recently regarding my cousin Jolene and the fundraising project I am involved in. For those of you who did not get one, I am participating in the Great Strides walk on May 16th to raise funds for cystic fibrosis research. This is the disease Jolene fought her entire life and we want to honor her memory by doing our best to fight it. If you feel inclined to support me and donate to the cause please go to

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/BethanyJones5705

and pledge whatever you feel comfortable with. Every dollar is important so no donation is too small. Thank you so much!

Good Day Sunshine

It has been awhile since I have posted, but it is not for lack of good things happening. I am just lazy. So here goes.

1. I am gainfully employed! That's right, the Joneses are bucking the economic trends and actually becoming slightly more secure. It seems that I am destined to assist financial planners as that is what I will be doing starting tomorrow morning. I will be working for a lovely man in our ward who is in dire need of someone to take care of the details (hmmm... where have I done this before?!) so I will be using my years of expertise (said with a chuckle) to help him in whatever way I can. It seems it will be a good fit for both of us so I am excited. And it only took me a year...

2. I have sold my first writing! Keep your eyes peeled, folks, for my name and story to appear in an upcoming edition of The New Era. I know it's not the Pultizer, but it kind of felt that way when I found out!

3. Nathan and I completed step one of the Total Money Makeover! I have to say that I am really proud of us. It has been a lot of work planning and budgeting, but it is a pretty amazing feeling to say to your money "I AM YOUR MASTER!" We are pretty pumped and are looking forward to financial freedom, though it is a long and winding road (another Beatles reference).

4. Nathan and I are going to Las Vegas this summer to participate in a Youth Conference! Nathan will be a speaker whereas I will be the eye candy (It's so exhausting. I mean, I'm not just a body!) Paris Buffet, here I come!

5. The Bassets are coming and we are going to conference! I can't wait to see my inlaws. If we lived closer than 5000 miles we would spend a ridiculous amount of time together, so whatever time we can get we are excited about. Shortly after, it looks like Becky and JJ will be here too so it will be great to see them as a married couple. Isn't family great?

Next year, Lawrence Welk!

This was hands down one of the best Valentine's Days ever in my very short history of fun Valentine's Days. We got to spend it with every old person within a thirty mile radius of Colorado Springs. Why would we do that? Because we got free tickets to see members of The Temptations, The Platters, The Drifters, and The Coasters in concert together! It was fantastic! It takes something like that to remind you how great songs like "My Girl", "Under the Boardwalk", "Up on the Roof", and "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" really are. And let me tell you, if you are ever concerned that Grandma has fallen and can't get up just put on Chubby Checker's "The Twist". Apparently, the muscles in geriatric calves are conditioned to spring up if that song is played regardless of whether Grandma's hips are in any condition to twist again like she did that summer... in 1958. One of the funniest moments of the evening for me was when they ended the show with "Shout". It was TOTALLY Animal House without the togas! The only problem was when we were singing "A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now" I realized that we were pretty much the only ones getting down on the ground. It hit me, though, that we were probably the only people in the whole auditorium whose knees could handle the strain! I have to say I really missed my family that night because we would have rocked that joint!

The other great thing this week is that I got to subsitute Seminary for three days. I must admit that I did experience a twinge of terror at the prospect of entertaining five classes of teenagers but they were fantastic. It made me a bit nostalgic for Sister Kerr and seeing the gang every morning in the Primary Room. It never ceases to amaze me, the caliber of young men and young women we have in the world today. I know we like to act as if the youngest generation are slackers and losers, but that has not been my experience. Lets just hope I can keep that attitude when I have one of my own!

Just a perfect blendship.

I will admit to being a friend snob. The problem is I am perfectly content to be alone most of the time, so for me to spend energy on cultivating a relationship with someone means I really like you. I know that makes me sound horrible, but the first step towards recovery is acceptance.

Yesterday I spoke to a friend over the phone who I hadn't talked to in ages (totally my fault!) and I had that wonderful sensation of realizing that even after months of silence we could pick up exactly where we left off. Friendships like these are such a rare commodity in this world. I hope my friend and her crazy sidekick (you know who you are Burnham!), know how much I love and miss them. They were truly some of the great finds of my life and nursed me through the trauma of being YW president. For that alone, you have earned your place in heaven! Man, I miss you two...

For all of my shyness, one of the things I despise most about myself, I have managed to create a circle of friends I do not deserve. I am truly blessed. Last week, Nathan and I had the opportunity to attend a family sealing at the temple. For those of you who have never been, the family kneels at an alter and then is surround by a circle of friends and extended family. It struck me how important that circle is, how it supports you, protects you, and cries with you over the good and the bad. Thank you, those in my circle. I know I am terrible at getting back on emails and phone calls, but please know that you are in every prayer, both for a blessing of safety and peace and also for gratitude that, as Maria told Captain Von Trapp, somehow in my youth or childhood I must have done something good.

An Observation

Do you think it's written into her contracts?

Kate & Leopold (2001) .... Kate McKay
You've Got Mail (1998) .... Kathleen Kelly
Courage Under Fire (1996) .... Karen Walden
Restoration (1995) .... Katharine
French Kiss (1995) .... Kate
I.Q. (1994) .... Catherine Boyd
Flesh and Bone (1993) .... Kay Davies
Top Gun (1986) .... Carol Bradshaw
Wildside .... Cally Oaks

Step off Mr. Nobel.

I have been under the weather this last week so I haven't felt much up to blogging but I would be remiss if I didn't mention the plan for world peace I came up with in between hacking up my lungs. We don't need a UN, we don't need a G8 conference, we don't need NATO, UNICEF, or NAFTA. We just need one huge worldwide Killers concert.

Oh, Brother Brandon, how you and your band of Merry Men rocked my world.

I was wondering what kind of crowd was going to show up at the Magness Arena and assumed that our fabulous foursome were going to be amongst the older of the crowd but I was mistaken. There were, of course, younger teenagers but there were also a lot of people who looked to be in their late 40's/early 50's. I figure, if "Mr. Brightside" can bring people together from across generations, why not other social divisions as well? I think we need to get President Obama to host the next Middle East peace talks in between the regular set and the encore.

You can't fight after that, can you?

I KNEW IT!!!

Having a Big Derriere May Be Good for Your Health, Study Finds
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Women can stop worrying about pear-shaped figures — fat bottoms have been scientifically proven to be a sign of good health.

New research, published in the journal Cell Metabolism, suggests the fat responsible for producing the pear shape flaunted by celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce may be active in protecting women from diseases by releasing certain hormones.

Buttock and hip fat may protect women against type 2 diabetes, researchers from Harvard Medical School found.

When buttocks and hip fat from mice was injected into other mice, their bodies easily used the blood sugar-regulating hormone insulin and lost weight.

They were also able to make better use of insulin, the main hormone linked to diabetes.
People with the apple shape, where fat is stored around the tummy, can be more prone to type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Those with pear-shaped bodies, where fat is collected in the buttocks, are less likely to have these disorders.

Researcher Dr. Ronald Kahn insisted that not all fat was bad for health. "The surprising thing was that it wasn't where the fat was located, it was the kind of fat that was the most important variable," he said.

"Even more surprising, it wasn't that abdominal fat was exerting negative effects, but that subcutaneous fat was producing a good effect. I think it's an important result because not only does it say that not all fat is bad, but I think it points to a special aspect of fat where we need to do more research."

Scientists also monitored the health of the mice given the fat transplants. When it was inserted into the tummy area, the mice lost weight and their fat cells shrank. The researchers will now try to identify the hormones.

This had better work or someone's going to pay.

Last night was the first official weigh in for "The Beagliest Loser", my family's effort to get in shape and feel great. Let's just say I stepped on the scale and thought "Ah yes, the time has come". Fortunately, it was not as bad as it could be, but it certainly was not where I want it to be. In an effort to get a jump start, Nathan and I are doing the Master Cleanse Lemonade diet for the next ten days. What is the Master Cleanse Lemonade diet? Unofficially, it is a process where you just keep drinking nasty tasting things so that you will actually be averse to putting anything in your mouth again. Perhaps next time I will just have my jaw wired shut. In the meantime, a hearty good luck to all of my fellow competitors, and may the person who is willing to ingest the nastiest stuff win!

A few of my favorite things...

1. Ethan James McLaughlin. Not only is he beautiful, brilliant, and bulky, he seems to think that I am the bees knees, thus the fact that he couldn't keep his hands or incredibly wet mouth off of me. Just like a man! Here's a little footage of him and his first Christmas...



2. Reuniting with great friends. Nathan and I were able to catch up with some dear friends from our time in India, the Jordans. They were truly our lifelines there and sometimes about the only thing that kept Nathan from going postal. It was fantastic to meet their new little boy as well who proudly owns a onesie that proclaims "Made in India". Great stuff.

3. Food, glorious food. Enough said.

4. Family. It's so nice to go back and be someone's daughter once in awhile, to just relax and remember what it used to feel like because it's what it still feels like when we get together.

5. Ridiculously long car trips. Okay, maybe not so much when you stretch a nine hour trip into a twelve and a half hour trip, but if the company is good somehow the hours don't feel so long.

6. The sweet smell of victory. I am honored and truly humbled to hold the distinction of being both Queen of Hearts and of Spades. Not only did I sweep in Utah, but last night I was part of a team that will go down in the annals of time. Two blind nils (one successful) and two regular nils assured Brooke and I that our names will be spoken in hushed tones over green velvet covered tables until the end of time. Brava, my ballsy friend!

Out of the mouths of babes...

(Overheard yesterday in Junior Primary music time)

Brooke: Today we are talking about people in the scriptures who waited for Christmas. Anna was a woman who was waiting for the Christ child. If you were waiting for Jesus, where would you wait for him?

Children: Bethlehem! The stable! By the manger!

Brooke: I'll give you a hint. You boys will go there before you go on your missions, and when you girls want to get married you'll go there with your boyfriends.

Arabella: Brigham Young University!

A greater truth has rarely been spoken.

I miss Arizona today.

Just another day in the life of Nathan Jones.

Still, Still, Still.

Today is one of those beautiful snowy days where the flakes drift down without any biting wind or ice. It's that perfect powder that just settles on things and makes everything clean. So today I am in a festive mood, this being the first happy snow in about ten years. I don't know how long it will last, but for now I have Sarah McLachlan singing Christmas carols on and I am going to work on the Ward Christmas party and enjoy the gentle peace of the Earth at rest.

And the winners are...

Crazily enough, this is actually the calmest of the pictures that I have displaying the triumph that is our Twilight t-shirts. That's right, a round of applause to Melinda for her winning entry of "Be a Lover, Not a Biter" which caused many a head to turn when Jamica passed by in the concession stand. As you can also see, Brooke went with the saucy "Vamped Up", whereas I went a bit of a different direction with "Who the Forks is Bella?". An honorable mention to Lynn for "Bear... it's what's for dinner" which got a lot of laughs all around. We thought about wearing our shirts to church the next day, a la prom dresses, but in the end we decided against it as we would be too much of a distraction. When you're this hot and all...

Karine would be so proud.

As most of you all know, the most anticipated movie in Mormondom since "The Empire Strikes Back" (Dude, the Force is totally the priesthood!) is coming out this weekend. That's right, you fans of all things Stephenie Meyer, we're talking "Twilight" (Insert girly screams here). I still haven't figured out what makes a vampire hot - do you know what they do?!?- but the books are a fun read so I am in for the movie. My friend Brooke and I have decided to get into the spirit of it and embrace our inner dorks by making t-shirts for the movie, so I have been tasked with coming up with some funny sayings. Knowing the infinetly creative minds of my fellow dorks (aka family and friends) I would love any suggestions that you might have. I will be sure to post a picture of us in our finished projects. In the meantime, enjoy the movie, Karine, as I am certain that you are probably already camping out in front of the theater!

Apparently, some people take my blog quite seriously.

Is it over the top to call myself visionary?

Pentagon Clears Flying-Car Project for Takeoff
By Noah Shachtman November 13, 2008

Pentagon mad-science division Darpa is helping build thought-controlled robotic limbs, artificial pack mules, real-life laser guns and "kill-proof" soldiers. So it comes as no surprise, really, that the agency is now getting into the flying-car business, too.

Darpa hopes its "Personal Air Vehicle Technology" project, announced yesterday, will ultimately lead to a working prototype of a military-suitable flying car -- a two- or four-passenger vehicle that can "drive on roads" one minute and take off like a helicopter the next. The hybrid machine would be perfect for "urban scouting," casualty evacuation and commando-delivery missions, the agency believes.

Mix it up! Mix it up!

Okay, If you want to laugh for one minute and fifty-five seconds while learning something that will not only enrich your happiness but also the lives of your loved ones check this out. Make sure you tell your friends and leave a comment or two. Brooke - you so cra-zay!